As many of you know, I have been researching donor eggs. I'm also a lawyer, so definitions of words and precision are something that I am used to considering. I've been giving a lot of thought to the words "biological mother."
Of course, you know that a donor egg recipient gives birth to the baby. But, did you know that a donor egg recipient/birth mother's genes will affect how the donor egg's genes are expressed? It's true. Did you also know that a donor egg baby has the blood of the birth mother in him/her and lives off the birth mother's cells while in utero? That's also true.
My doctor, who is RE, has told me that she believes that a DE Birth Mom is a biological mother. I've also heard some say that a DE baby really has two biological mothers. Obviously, the baby only has one genetic mother.
I have to tell you that as someone who is seriously considering DE that I have become very aware of the different terms - biological and genetic.
I would suggest to each of you that the most proper, most precise, most sensitive term to call the donor is the "genetic mother." The birth mother and the genetic mother are also both biological mothers.
We can look to various dictionaries, regular and law dictionaries, to see what the two words mean. However, I suggest that our current vernacular has not kept up with science and is less than precise in our new world. Indeed, different dictionaries would yield different results in in this context in what the word "biological means." Science indeed moves faster than our vocabulary does.
Some dictonaries define "biological" to include "related by genetics." But, some define it as to include "related by genetics or blood." (And, we know that a donor egg baby has the birth mother's blood. But we also know that genes will influence blood type). Also some dictionaries define "biological" include "related by birth."
The 6th edition of Black's Law Dictionary doesn't define "biological." But it does define "natural child" to be "child by natural relation or procreation" (whatever that means). Even if you were to think that that means the biological mother is (only) the genetic mother, the law dictionary also defines "natural child" to include "child by birth, as distinguished from a child by adoption."
Among those of you have experienced RPL or are considering DE's for other reasons, I hope that you will join me on educating people that there is a difference between "a genetic mother" and "biological mother" and you would urge precision, using the word "genetic mother" instead of "biological" mother when referring to a donor.
My personal belief is that a donor egg baby has two biological mothers (1) the very special one who delivered her/him and (2) the very special one who contributed her egg (and thus her DNA/genetics). I find it hurtful when people ask questions that suggest that a donor egg recipient is not also a biological mother. Clearly she is.
Also, you should know that in most (if not all states) that legally a donor egg baby is the legal child of the birth mother.
Thanks for listening.
. Everyone is welcome...it doesn't matter if your just starting the process, mid-cycle or happily pregnant, we'd love to hear from you. This has been an amazingly supportive and lucky thread, let's keep the trend going!