Hi Ladies,
I transferred 2 blasts yesterday after some last minute changes. The RE called me on Day 4 and said none of the embryos would be ready to test for PGS and there was just one morula in the bunch, the rest were not yet morulas as they would have expected at this stage. She said her and the embryologist were shocked to see donor egg embryos progress so slowly. That freaked me out, needless to say. Possibly none to transfer after all this money, and starting with 17 eggs retrieved?????? OMG. The next morning, Day 5, the news was better, there was now one blast, one early blast, and one morula. The rest were too far behind to count. So she said we could do PGS on those three. I said it probably wasn't worth it for so few embryos, just put the two best ones in and hope for the best. So that's what I did. But now I feel so scared. I think I should have just put one in, because I have a toddler and now I am really upset about having a high possibility of twins. I know, this is stupid, it is my own decision to put in two. But it was really out of fear of having nothing good enough to freeze, and putting in two increased my chances. Right after I left the clinic I had such a wave of panic, if I could have taken one embryo back out, I would have. I can't believe my cycle has turned out so badly, and it cost me $25k. For just 2 blasts. I am so mad at myself, I should have put one in and frozen the other one. They are going to observe the morula and see if it is good enough to freeze today. I don't think I would mind having twins, but twins with a toddler sounds like a nightmare to me. Has anyone else had twins and a 2 year old and it worked out fine? DH is just excited that we may have twins. That is partly what swayed me. He figures this is our last chance so the more the merrier. I worry that we will need to move to a new house, and so many other issues. I feel sick with worry. DH says why worry, you don't even know that you have twins yet, maybe we will get a BFN. Anyway, that is my update. I feel horrible and mad at myself and my RE, I feel like the RE rushed my decision and we should have talked about it more. I only found out right on the table for the transfer that actually both blasts looked great quality, initially I thought there was one good one and the other one not so good so why not throw it in as well since it probably won't work. When I found out that the blasts were doing better than expected, I thought oh that's great, and only LATER did I think, crap this could REALLY turn into twins. I don't know what to do now. I feel like I can't breathe and I want to cry.
Just as a background, my last own egg ivf in March I had a similar thing happen with my embryos, they started out fine, but by day 5 I only had one blast, then I tested it and it was abnormal, so nothing to transfer, after all that anticipation. I think this time I just wanted to transfer something! But I should not have put in two. Is this going to be ok?????
