Hello everyone! I am so glad I found a group that might have someone in a similar situation. I would love to tell my story and have some support throughout my journey, while offering my support to others as well. Here's my story.......
I am 51 years old, married for 22 years and been in menopause for 3 years now and recently learned of the possibility of doing IVF with donor egg, even AFTER menopause! SOOOOO excited, and scared, but absolutely determined to give it my best shot.
I had 3 miscarriages in my mid 20's, all before 8 weeks gestation. I have/had PCOS with erratic, non-ovulating cycles for the whole of my menstruating life, and was unable to conceive after the 3 miscarriages in my mid 20's, so I just accepted that I would never be able to have children.
Three years ago, my friend's daughter offered to be a traditional surrogate for us. It was life-changing for us, and financially life-changing for her. We did the DIY, at-home method to get her pregnant. We timed her ovulation with OPK strips, on her peak days, (CD13 and CD14), we used a midwife, my husband's sperm, and a needle-less syringe, to do the insemination, and she conceived our daughter, in our bedroom, on the very first month trying. Ahhhh, to be young and fertile! LOL!
We are so blessed and happy to have our beautiful daughter. She is 20 months old now, and we desperately want a sibling or two for her, but our first surrogate is unable to do it again, so I started researching using a surrogate with donor eggs and kept seeing articles about IVF with donor eggs after menopause, and was blown away to learn that it is not only possible, but happens all the time now!
So.......to make a very long story a little shorter, I have already started the process.....we paid the $34,900 fee, for the refundable, "You have a baby or get your money back" program. They did starter blood work on me, which was all normal, and we are now waiting on the RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss) results to come back, since I was never tested in my 20's after the 3 miscarriages. Apparently there are tests to tell you why you might had had recurrent miscarriages, so they are making sure I don't have anything that might be an issue later, and if I do, we need to see if it is something that can be treated or not.
Ultimately, if I am not cleared for the program to carry the baby, then I have a 25 year old niece that has offered to be our gestational surrogate, in the event that I cannot carry the baby, the clinic agreed and put in the contract, that if anything comes up, or if I do not have a baby within 3 transfers, they will transfer the program to my niece with the same "have a baby or money back guarantee," so either way, we are having a baby.
We already chose the donor. I had the mock transfer done to make sure I was able to do it, and I had the saline sonogram procedure done where they put the saline in my uterus under ultrasound to see if my uterus is clear of any abnormalities or obstructions, and both were good, but my uterus has shrunk due to menopause and it is all atrophied and dry, so he put me on 2mg of estradiol a day to get my uterus starting to build a lining and functioning again.
So.....the plan going forward is.......8 weeks of estrogen to build the lining, then progesterone to bring on my period. Depending on the amount of blood flow, they will determine if the lining is building enough.......then they will do 3 weeks of estrogen, followed by progesterone again, to get me cycling, then we will attempt the first embryo transfer, AFTER the doctor determines that my uterine lining is adequate for transfer.
In addition to the estrogen uterine lining build-up, due to my age of 51, I also have to get medical clearance from my primary doctor, as well as clearance from my OB/GYN. I will need a mammogram, pap smear, colonoscopy, everything that a 51 year old woman would need to have done, to determine that my body is healthy enough at 51 years old to carry and birth a baby!
UGH! It sounds exhausting, but I will do whatever it takes to feel that baby growing inside of me, have that closeness and connection! I have dreamed of this day! I never could afford IVF when younger, didn't even have the money for proper testing to find out why I was having recurrent miscarriages, but our finances have changed in the past 5 years and we have been blessed financially so that money is no longer an object, so if it is at all possible for me to carry and birth a baby, then I am going to do it!
Hubby has an appt. on Monday for his blood work for genetic disease testing, to compare and contrast with the donor's test results. I will be seeing my PCP, as well as seeing the OB/GYN for the dreaded pap smear, and setting up all the other tests required for my clearances.
Sorry for the ridiculously long post, lol, but I am overflowing with joy and questions! I hope there is someone in a similar situation, or with information or advice, that can chime in. I used Baby Center through the whole 9 months with my surrogate, so I know what a wonderfully supportive and informative site it is. I look forward to knowing and supporting all of you!
