Oh my god, need advice and just someone to talk to...
Had an ectopic pregnancy and emergency operation to remove my left tube in March last year after IUI. Then a miracle happened, and I fell pregnant on my own in September (doctors told us we had only 0.1 percent chance of natural pregnancy due to my AMH being almost 0). Everything looked great until week 9, when they discovered an omphalocele and at almost 12 weeks trisomy 18 was confirmed together with nuchal fold of 8 mm and severe hydrops, so I had a TMFR.
We talked and talked and decided to move to donor eggs to improve our chances. Husband has no sperm problems (and we have to children with my own eggs, conceived naturally).... We got three AA blastocyst from our 23 year old donor. I got pregnant first try! Everything looked great. Saw the little bean 4 days ago, alive and kicking, small nuchal fold, no anomalies to be seen. Yesterday at a scan at the clinic, it had died.... there was still some blood in the chord, so they think it dies minutes before the scan 
What are the odds? I am 12 weeks today and just had a D&C... we just started to believe it, and donor was so young, everything looked great, was dreaming and planning...
How do one become human again after this? Do we even have the courage to try again? We did not do PGS (not really done in our country), and what if the remaining two blastocysts are "bad" as well? Doctors don't think it is chromosomal, because everything looked great, also blood tests, but they are analyzing the bean now and we will have answers in 8 weeks. (8 weeks!!!) They want us to prepare for the answer that this is just bad luck. But this is three times in a row? And even with donor eggs.
Please, if anyone has advice for what to ask the doctors, what to do different for our next treatment (if my husband can be persuaded to try again). I am broken. Utterly broken. And getting old and the age limit for treatment in my country is 45...
