Hi ladies!
I’m new here but I need help. Please excuse me for my english, it’s not my first language.
I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant with de baby. I’m 43 years old and have been strugling with infertelity for five years. First the doctor said that there is nothing wrong with me and we should just try naturally. Actually the thing she was not able to diagnosize was the fact that my eggs have had their best before date. After lot of frustration I changed the doctor and we went straight to ivf. All our ivf’s were then cancelled because there was always just one egg coming. I got pregnant two times in between ivf’s but got miscarrige both times, very early ones.
Finally we decided to try with donated eggs. The decision was not easy and I have been meeting a therapeutist for couple of years during this process.
We were lucky and the first try with de resulted positive pregnancy test. I have felt very ambivalent during pregnancy even though I’m happy about it. In the beginning I was crying a lot for my lost babies and was afraid I can not bond with this one. We have decided that we will not tell anyone about donated eggs background. My husband has children from his ex marriage and I have also an adult child. Blended family have been a mess and we don’t want this child to feel rootless and outsider.
My friends and family are waiting happy this child and sometimes I feel like I lie to them when not telling the whole truth about pregnancy.
This baby will born soon and now I’m afraid that in the minute that I will see him, I will say to doctors that take it away, he’s not mine, my babies are dead. Also I’m afraid to see him
cause we don’t know whose genes I’m carring (it was anomous donation). Baby feels totally strange for me now. My husband is very supportive and will take care of baby if I can’t after my c-section, but I am afraid what will happen to our marriage if I can not bond enough with this child? Luckily he’s a boy which makes it easier for me as I will not see myself in him.
I simply can not share this with anyone, that’s why I’m writing here. Do you have same kind of feelings? How did you felt when de baby was born? Thanks in advance for answers!
I’m new here but I need help. Please excuse me for my english, it’s not my first language.
I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant with de baby. I’m 43 years old and have been strugling with infertelity for five years. First the doctor said that there is nothing wrong with me and we should just try naturally. Actually the thing she was not able to diagnosize was the fact that my eggs have had their best before date. After lot of frustration I changed the doctor and we went straight to ivf. All our ivf’s were then cancelled because there was always just one egg coming. I got pregnant two times in between ivf’s but got miscarrige both times, very early ones.
Finally we decided to try with donated eggs. The decision was not easy and I have been meeting a therapeutist for couple of years during this process.
We were lucky and the first try with de resulted positive pregnancy test. I have felt very ambivalent during pregnancy even though I’m happy about it. In the beginning I was crying a lot for my lost babies and was afraid I can not bond with this one. We have decided that we will not tell anyone about donated eggs background. My husband has children from his ex marriage and I have also an adult child. Blended family have been a mess and we don’t want this child to feel rootless and outsider.
My friends and family are waiting happy this child and sometimes I feel like I lie to them when not telling the whole truth about pregnancy.
This baby will born soon and now I’m afraid that in the minute that I will see him, I will say to doctors that take it away, he’s not mine, my babies are dead. Also I’m afraid to see him
cause we don’t know whose genes I’m carring (it was anomous donation). Baby feels totally strange for me now. My husband is very supportive and will take care of baby if I can’t after my c-section, but I am afraid what will happen to our marriage if I can not bond enough with this child? Luckily he’s a boy which makes it easier for me as I will not see myself in him.
I simply can not share this with anyone, that’s why I’m writing here. Do you have same kind of feelings? How did you felt when de baby was born? Thanks in advance for answers!