This is my first post and I am recently just started this journey. DH and I have been TTC for about 4 years- I am 41 and he is 45. I have no children of my own and DH has 3 children from a previous marriage. I have been very active with them and I am very close with his youngest who is 14- I have been in his life since he was a little over a year old. In some way, I think I have been so focused with him that I let time tick by too quickly and now I am here...
We have had 3 miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy- we have had testing after the MC and two of these were due to chromosomal issues. Additionally, I do have an autoimmune disease with Sjorgens Syndrome and Raynaurds (although I was told this has played no role- not sure I fully believe that, but that is what we have been advised). We had met with an RE about a bit over year ago and did all fertility testing, however, life got in the way and we had a lot of personal issues that prevented us from moving forward. We just met with another RE again and will be redoing all of our testing- I already tested with a low AMH a year ago (.3) so we anticipate that this is going to be a challenge. RE has already mentioned that donor eggs with IVF maybe my best option, however, after doing an quick ultrasound she did feel that we could try 2-3 rounds of IUI prior to going this route. Beyond the emotional decision, I was a bit concerned financially about DE IVF and how we would afford these procedures as it the cost did seem so out of reach.
As I have been digesting this and doing some research, I have been reading a lot about IVF in Europe- particularly the Czech Republic. DH and I travel often and there is something about this process that is intriguing to me (two of my great grandparent were born in the Czechoslovakia so this is location I can somewhat connect with) - not to mention the cost savings! The more I am reading, I am really starting to think about going straight to DE IVF abroad once we receive all of our updated testing. I am worried about more chromosomal issues with mine and feel like I am sort of fighting an uphill battle that is only going to result in more loss and don't know if IUI is just a waste of time. Of course, there is no guarantee with anything, but the odd do seem a lot better with DE. I never really imagined having a child that that was not genetically mine - however, I do know I can love children that are not given my relationship stepson. I do like the idea that at least DH will be the father and would make this child genetically related to his others. I am crazy to make such a jump so quickly- will I regret not trying with my own eggs? I know that this is hard decision and different for everyone, but would love to know how others came to make this decision...