I have been ambushed! Today was my day 7 scan. On one side I had 3 follies and on the other I had just one lone ranger. I was shocked!. IVF1 yielded 18, IVF2 yield 6. Both were BFN due to MFI although I managed to get a good embryo for IVF 2.
So after the scan the doc called me in for a "chat" I could tell he had prepped his little speech and was bracing himself for tears so I made a huge effort to disappoint him.
He talked about DE trying hard to convince me that this was my best option. He had no idea that I had already thought about it and was ok with it.
The challenge is DH. He is against IVF saying it's too scientific. If God has not given us a child we should accept. He is willing to be a martyr to infertility and I am not.
Doc told me most of his MFI patients will only consent to donor sperm if it is concealed from the wife and vice versa. I am not comfortable with the "secrets" So now as my DH takes his shower before bed, I am contemplating how to broach the subject without risking him calling it off.
DE is the way to go. I am 41. I have responded poorly to 300iu of Gonal f. They have now upped my doze to 375! The max is 400 and the doc does not want to even try that. I really don't think my eggs will hold and yet I can't afford another round. I have maxed out my finances.
I asked about the donor and I was told there were already 2 in the cycle and I could share. They asked if I had any preference about tribe because tribes have distinct physical features. North and east are tall and dark. West are very fair and heavy on the hips, central are neither short nor tall, have big flat noses and are prone to acne.
I told them I had no preference for tribe although I did fancy the Idea of my son being tall so a donor from east or north would have been good. They have matched me with a donor from central. Well I am from west and my DH is from central so I guess it will be ok. I still would have liked one from north. Oh well maybe DH has "secretly" opted for a donor and hopefully it's a tall dark northern man
I don't want to know anything about the donor although I think I have seen some 2 ladies who might be donors waiting in the que for scan at the fertility center. One of them is fair the other is darker. My only concern is her medical history.
I am ok with DE but i know I can never tell anyone. Some of my friends know about IVF but I will not tell about DE.
I have so much to think about. I have to adjust my dreams of having a son who looks like my brother and I or a daughter who looks like my fair sisters.
What is most important is to emerge from this as a mother with a baby or rather babies because I want twins. I have been through too much to walk away empty handed
So after the scan the doc called me in for a "chat" I could tell he had prepped his little speech and was bracing himself for tears so I made a huge effort to disappoint him.
He talked about DE trying hard to convince me that this was my best option. He had no idea that I had already thought about it and was ok with it.
The challenge is DH. He is against IVF saying it's too scientific. If God has not given us a child we should accept. He is willing to be a martyr to infertility and I am not.
Doc told me most of his MFI patients will only consent to donor sperm if it is concealed from the wife and vice versa. I am not comfortable with the "secrets" So now as my DH takes his shower before bed, I am contemplating how to broach the subject without risking him calling it off.
DE is the way to go. I am 41. I have responded poorly to 300iu of Gonal f. They have now upped my doze to 375! The max is 400 and the doc does not want to even try that. I really don't think my eggs will hold and yet I can't afford another round. I have maxed out my finances.
I asked about the donor and I was told there were already 2 in the cycle and I could share. They asked if I had any preference about tribe because tribes have distinct physical features. North and east are tall and dark. West are very fair and heavy on the hips, central are neither short nor tall, have big flat noses and are prone to acne.
I told them I had no preference for tribe although I did fancy the Idea of my son being tall so a donor from east or north would have been good. They have matched me with a donor from central. Well I am from west and my DH is from central so I guess it will be ok. I still would have liked one from north. Oh well maybe DH has "secretly" opted for a donor and hopefully it's a tall dark northern man
I don't want to know anything about the donor although I think I have seen some 2 ladies who might be donors waiting in the que for scan at the fertility center. One of them is fair the other is darker. My only concern is her medical history.
I am ok with DE but i know I can never tell anyone. Some of my friends know about IVF but I will not tell about DE.
I have so much to think about. I have to adjust my dreams of having a son who looks like my brother and I or a daughter who looks like my fair sisters.
What is most important is to emerge from this as a mother with a baby or rather babies because I want twins. I have been through too much to walk away empty handed