I first wrote this after 4 failed iuis and 3 failed ivfs. Im 43. I was then considering the donor egg route because I had spent so much money with partial insurance but it had reached its limit..everything after would be out of pocket. I chose to do one more IVF in which I finally caught the golden egg which was tested to be genetically normal!! I got my BFP!! Due to the clinics poor monitoring, they felt my progesterine level of 5 was sufficient even though I told them I felt uncomfortable with anything less than 10. I then had a chemical pregnancy because my hcg levels dropped soon after the bfp. I was soooooo sad because I finally had a normal pgd tested embryo and a bfp for the 1st time in my life!! Uggghhh...completely devastated. That was in April. Into my next cycle, when going for a 2nd opininion to discuss OE or DE, the new dr decided to take a sonogram n saw something weird on the sonogram n wanted to see me in a week. Turns out, I took an hpt and there it was a completely NATURAL BFP!! We were over the moon n couldnt believe that after all those treatments, we conceived naturally!! Thats what dr must have seen on sono! Anyway, I was closely minitored for the next 9 weeks and unfortunately, the hb stopped! :-( After two bfps, I couldnt help to think that after all these tears, I had two pregnancies in a row...one was with a perfectly normal embryo and one was natural..I was actually able to get pregnant naturally!!! My dh said we should definitely do DE now without any doubt cuz he cant see me falling apart anymore. I on the other hand feel that after years of failed attempts, I got pregnant 2 cycles in a row w OE!!! We have very little money left. Ive cried and cried last night thinking I was soooo close to my own eggs..how do I give up now? Dh printed out all these articles on donor eggs and said that we have less than a 5% chance with OEs and a 60 -70% chance with donor eggs and finally a chance to be a mommy! I had a major breakdown yesterday trying to figure out which choice I could live with without regrets. I just dont know.
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