Hi everyone,
What an amazing board this is, so much helpful information and I am really appreciative to have a place to come to for this part of my infertility journey. We just found out in late May that our 7th IVF attempt (only 2nd retrieval) resulted in BFN and are moving on to DE.
We will be using an anonymous donor and are open to agencies or IVF clinic donors. We're also open to either frozen eggs or a fresh cycle. I have a few questions about picking a donor though.
I met with our RE this morning and he said the most important thing with picking a donor is my comfort level with her, but then proceeded to tell me (in indirect terms) that my #1 requirement is foolish. I am 100% of an ethnicity and would really prefer a donor that is also 100%. I can't explain why I feel so strongly about this, I just do. If I can't pass on my specific genes I can at least pass on my ancestry. However, I realize that it will be more difficult to find a donor that is 100% any ethnicity, let alone the same as mine. My RE said that it really doesn't matter, we're all "mutts" and if you trace it back far enough we come from the same place. He wasn't being rude, just more matter of fact.
It has me second guessing myself. I was willing to overlook hair color and other physical attributes if the donor shared my ethnic background. But maybe that is silly and it doesn't matter? Was ethnic background important to anyone else? Is my RE correct that it is not as cut and dry as I thought? I see those commercials for genetic tests for ethnic backgrounds, are those all a bunch of bs? I was excited to finally be moving forward with some hope and I guess this just confuses me to what I should be looking for in a donor.
Thanks!